I Want To Die But Want To Eat Tteokbokki by Baek Sehee

📖 Overview

How can someone want to disappear while still longing for life's smallest pleasures?

In I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki, South Korean author Baek Sehee shares her experience living with persistent depression, dysthymia, anxiety, and feelings of inadequacy. Rather than presenting a polished memoir or a conventional self-help guide, the book combines personal reflections with real conversations between the author and her psychiatrist, offering readers an intimate glimpse into the therapeutic process.

Across these conversations, Sehee explores the thoughts and emotional patterns that quietly shape everyday life—perfectionism, people-pleasing, self-criticism, loneliness, and the pressure to appear emotionally "normal." Instead of seeking dramatic breakthroughs, the book illustrates how healing often begins with understanding ourselves more honestly and treating our struggles with curiosity rather than judgment.

More than a memoir about mental illness, I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki reminds readers that emotional pain can coexist with hope, and that recovery is often built through countless small acts of self-awareness and compassion.

🎯 Why This Book Is Worth Reading

Mental health is often discussed through diagnoses and clinical terminology.

This book approaches it through lived experience.

Baek Sehee's openness allows readers to recognize emotions that are often difficult to describe, making the book deeply relatable even for those who have never experienced clinical depression. Rather than offering quick solutions or motivational slogans, it demonstrates the value of honest conversations, therapy, and gradual personal growth.

Its gentle, conversational style has resonated with readers around the world because it validates emotional struggles without reducing them to simple answers.

👥 Who Should Read This Book

🧠 Key Concepts

💡 In-Depth Discussion

1. Healing Begins with Honest Self-Reflection

Throughout the book, Baek Sehee gradually learns that understanding her emotions is more valuable than suppressing them.

Therapy becomes a space for asking difficult questions rather than immediately searching for solutions.

2. Emotional Pain Can Exist Alongside Ordinary Joy

The title itself captures one of the book's central ideas.

People experiencing depression or emotional distress may still enjoy food, friendships, hobbies, or moments of happiness. Human emotions are rarely absolute, and contradictory feelings can exist at the same time.

3. Perfectionism Often Masks Insecurity

Many of the author's struggles stem from believing she must constantly meet the expectations of others.

The book explores how perfectionism, comparison, and fear of disappointing people can gradually undermine emotional well-being.

4. Therapy Is a Process, Not a Quick Fix

The conversations throughout the book illustrate that meaningful healing rarely happens in a single breakthrough.

Progress emerges gradually through repeated reflection, honest dialogue, and a growing willingness to understand one's own patterns of thinking and behavior.

5. Self-Compassion Is a Skill

One of the book's most important lessons is learning to treat ourselves with the same kindness we naturally offer to others.

Recovery often begins when self-criticism is replaced by curiosity, patience, and understanding.

6. Vulnerability Creates Connection

By openly sharing her thoughts, fears, and insecurities, Baek Sehee reminds readers that emotional struggles are far more common than they often appear.

Honest conversations reduce isolation and encourage greater empathy for ourselves and those around us.

🛠 How to Apply the Ideas

Although everyone's mental health journey is unique, the book encourages several healthy practices:

🌟 IslandHub Insight

One of the reasons this book resonates so deeply is that it rejects the idea that healing must be dramatic.

Baek Sehee reminds us that recovery often happens quietly—in conversations, moments of reflection, and gradual shifts in how we understand ourselves. There is no perfect timeline, no single breakthrough, and no expectation that progress will always move forward in a straight line.

In a culture that frequently celebrates constant productivity and emotional resilience, this book offers a different perspective: acknowledging vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but an important step toward self-understanding.

At IslandHub, we believe I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki is ultimately a book about compassion—both for ourselves and for others. It encourages readers to approach emotional struggles with patience, curiosity, and hope, while recognizing that seeking support can be a meaningful part of personal growth.

📚 Related Books

❓ Questions to Reflect On

📖 References